Those who make their living providing psychic readings of any type (Tarot, psychic, mediumship, etc.) are working in the skilled service industry. However, more often that not, their abilities and work are treated more as a party trick, met with snide remarks or general disrespect. And in the instances where people aren't outright disrespectful, they often make mistakes in their interaction that make the reading more difficult in one way or another.
But none of these things can't be fixed by a little education. Here are some do's/don'ts and general advice for your visits with a psychic reader.
Set Expectations
Most readers have their own preamble to a reading that is personal to them, their abilities, and the method they are using. Mine usually includes explaining that I am a mouthpiece for the dead, and I cannot control who does or does not come through or what they will or won't say.
However...
It isn't unusual to come into a reading with a specific question or hoping to connect with someone specific. If that is the case, let your reader know. Keep it simple, "I want to connect with my grandparent/parent/friend...". That person may not come through, but we can at least try and put our intention out there to connect with that specific person. Otherwise, we will go into "general reading" mode, letting whoever comes through, and other people might be louder or stronger energetically than the person you were wanting to hear from.
Again, it is never a guarantee, but most are still willing to try.
Keep the Details to A Minimum
When a reader is honed in on a person's energy, and everything that comes out of
their mouth is a near biography of yours or a loved one's life, it can be shocking, emotional, and exciting. But resist the urge to validate the reading by explaining how all the little details fit together. RESIST.
The problem with validating in this manner is it contaminates the reading. Now the psychic knows a lot more about this person. Trusting that the information you get going forward is actually from spirit vs. something extrapolated from what you said is suddenly problematic. Part of reading is being able to trust the difference between your own thoughts/emotions/feelings and those of the spirits/higher beings/entities that are present.
It also creates an opening for those who are trying to extrapolate to seem even more accurate to swindle you. Check out my blog on hot, cold, and real readings to learn more about this.
If the reader asks for validation, which is likely so they can make sure they are on the right track, a simple yes or no response should more than suffice.
Don't Ask "Those" Questions
Have you ever tried to buy something that is missing a tag and you say to the cashier, "Oh so it's free then, right?". After asking that, have you ever noticed the dead look in their eyes, as if their soul has left their body? That's because it has. It is one of those questions that they hear so often, by so many people, that is making a joke about something that is actually an inconvenience for you both.
For most psychic readers, the equivalent of that question is, "Can you tell me the winning lottery numbers?"
It might seem silly and harmless, but I swear if I have one more person ask me that, I might actually have a mental breakdown. Of course, there are many others, though each reader's list varies a bit. But this specific question is like nails on a chalkboard.
If we could get the winning lottery numbers, why would we tell you? We would use them for ourselves - millions of dollars would be life changing for us too.
Additionally, if you are ever tempted to follow something up with the phrase, "You're psychic, shouldn't you know?" - just...don't. Please. We are still human and we are not privy to all of the secrets of the universe.
Be Honest
Receiving an accurate reading, especially if you aren't expecting it, can be hard to take in all at once. It is an overwhelming experience even. And in some cases, it can be hard to believe.
But do not tell your reader they are wrong when they are right.
You don't have to say much (as I said before, it is best to keep things to a minimum), but confirming that a reader is correct is important and ultimately, respectful. We are people too and we want to do our jobs well - and many of us are called to use our gifts to help others. So being wrong, which does happen, when we are right is giving unwarranted criticism. It makes us feel like we are crazy, because we are feeling or seeing these things so clearly and strongly that for it to not resonate can shake our confidence.
I usually compare it to - would you tell your plumber that the problem isn't fixed even though you know it is? More than likely not. Why do that to your reader?
Crying is Allowed/Encouraged
In all likelihood, a reading will become emotional as your reader connects with lost loved ones or connects dots about your past, present, or future. I understand that crying in public, especially in front of someone who is most likely a stranger, is awkward. Nobody likes to do it. But crying is part of the cathartic experiences of seeing a reader.
What readers do innately brings up emotions from trauma or grief or negative self-feelings. A lot of readers I know, including myself, keep tissues and chocolate in arms-reach for this very reason. Readings are meant to help you connect, heal, and grow. So don't fight the experience. If the tears come, let them flow.
This Is a Job
Those who do this work full time spend all day/evening doing very energetically taxing work. Just like anyone else, we might have a little decompressing to do that involves some talking, but having a drink and sitting in front of the television probably sounds pretty good right about then.
For friends and family, "tapping in" to help with little things every now and then isn't a big deal. It's what you do for the people you love. But asking for full readings, especially if they take hours, on a regular basis is taking advantage of them.
Would you ask your plumber friend to re-plumb your entire house for free? I sure hope not!
The same rule applies to psychics. Our work requires energy, skill, practice, study, and time, just like your plumber friend. If you want something in depth that requires a lot of time, do the right thing and pay them for their time and service.
We Are Not Dancing Monkeys
"You're a psychic? Tell me what I am thinking right now then!". Cue the eyeroll.
Readers are accustomed to proving their abilities. But we get tested to be vendors at fairs. We get tested by our mentors to help us grow. We test ourselves every time we give a client a reading.
But honestly, none of us deserve to be challenged to prove ourselves to some Chad at the bus stop.
Moreover, not many people do anything well when they are put on the spot. You are switching gears, trying to get in a different headspace, process the fact that you are being challenged, and so on. I got this a lot when I was training in classical ballet. "You're a ballerina? Do something then!"
But pulling out a pirouette from your back pocket is a lot easier than connecting with spirit. Many have specific practices that they go through to open up to receiving messages. There are protection practices that are done to prepare for a day of reading. And frankly, why do I need to prove myself to you, Chad? I'm not a dancing monkey. I'm a person.
In Conclusion
Whoever is giving you a reading (unless you happen across a scammer) is interested in helping you in whatever way they can. You can help them do that through honesty and accepting that emotions are part of the process.
But we are still people, deserving of respect, with a specialized skillset, deserving of appropriate compensation. Whether you believe in what we do or not, there is never a reason to disrespect a person who is minding their own business, doing what they can to try and bring some light to the world.
Keep these in mind when you go for your next, or even first, psychic reading, and you should have a very fruitful and smooth experience.
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